This story is real, it happened to me, or I happened to it, this is how important my 'books' are to me:
One time I was traveling 800 miles with 2 toddlers (mine) and I strategically stopped at a fast food restaurant (Burger King) where they had a playground for the monkeys (the toddlers) to wiggle on
. . . and brought in a book I was dying to keep reading (The Perfect Storm) . . . so first we take a potty break (diapers, pull-ups . . . hands . . .) you know that routine and I accidentally, not-on-purpose left the book somewhere in there (the ladies' room). . .
____flash forward 5 minutes______
I am standing in line waiting to order when it hits me - my freaking book is missing!!! I holler, drag the babies back in the women’s room as two fat ladies exit . . . no book . . .I get behind them in line and I hear them whispering
. . . I am telling the kids, somebody stole my book! So I ask the fat ladies,
"Did you see anybody take a book in the ladies’ room"?
"Oh no, no" they say as they look nervously at each other.
I look over and fatty number two has a suspiciously rectangular solid form in the area where her belly should be!
So I look right at her, point at her tummy (my book) and say -
"IS THAT MY BOOK, IT IS CALLED 'THE PERFECT STORM'?”
She looks away, gets her food from the counter . . . and walks away.
I loudly discuss with my children that thieves will have judgment from God or Karma in their lives and that they will never be happy because they are carrying such black guilt for what they have done . . .
I see the fatty with the rectangular object (my book) hidden on her belly go into the ladies’ room . . . then they leave.
I run in there and
******what do you think was in the wastebasket?****
- my freaking book!!!!
I was so excited! I finished that book, which was great AND I made that fat idiot feel like crap enough that she gave something back (even if she couldn't face me to do it)!!!!
Note: I have been fat, some of my family is fat, so don’t make any “oh, you said FAT” comments. They were FAT/overweight/chunky/obese and that is a description.
They did not, however, have bunheads (which is related to a future posting).
I."You are an art magician. What you do is spiritual alchemy made manifest" - Suzanne Finnamore, Best-selling author of Split, Zygote Chronicles, Old Maid and others. www.finnablog.blogspot.com Sher's Response to Suzanne: You are a goddess among women - you have the wicked tongue and cool bangs of a true lioness. I would love to have you in my pack of wandering four-leggeds - after we have all reincarnated from our current, sharp-as-a-tack selves. We can howl at the moon from all corners of our earth - ye from the west, self from the south, and blade from the easterly region, I'm not sure if Kate Cake qualifies as northerly (we might need to subsitute Jim Shue as our northern sister kin as he is closer to the North Pole). . . or maybe Brandon, I need help on the 4th! Your Prayer Flag is blowing crimson in the fluffy falling snow (calling you home to North Carolina, I hope). If I can FIND my camera amongst my boughs of holly, I will take a shot and send it forth . . . (um, I might need a week for that).
II." . . . this is what I want to say: you are not merely gifted technically, you have endowed those pieces with such heart-sweetnessI wanted to cry. My daughter and sister will see what I meant them to see: a touch beyond dimensionality, as fragile and sublime as the butterfly wings and the words of grief behind them. Your heart is there, and as a person who tries to never shy away from putting my own heart in my work, I see it and I offer you my deepest respect and gratitude. I know I am a loony as a religious person, but I do believe we are here to enrich the space we’re given, and you have done that; I thank you. Thank you sincerely". - Haven Kimmel, Best-selling author of A Girl Named Zippy (as well as She Got Up Off the Couch [sher's favorite memoir], Something Rising Light & Swift, The Solace of Leaving Early, the Used World, and Iodine, and several children's books). www.havenkimmel.com Sher Responds to Haven: I can barely respond to your comments because they mean so much to me. From the moment I read the first sentence of Zippy I felt you KNEW ME, that we had lived parallel lives of some sort, not only with the back story/region, but especially with your lighthearted SENSE of HUMOR which slays me - and then to discover the deep spiritual truths and depths of your writing - which reveals your soul in all its glory. Thank YOU. I hope to continue to live up to your authenticity. I can't think of anything adequate to say . . . so . . . Appreciatively to BLADE from LANCE, May we slay all the beasts in the nether-worlds,
My deathbed wish: To be read to from my collection of books (many of which I have purchased in hardback) - the highlighted and/or underlined text ONLY.
I quit listening to audio books while driving as I have had several near accidents while trying to write down a phrase or wording. Why words at my deathbed, in lieu of visual art? I struggled with the choice to focus on writing or visual art – the visual art won out only because it was more tactile and I have learned to merge my love of both.
Assuming I will be so sick as not to be able to paint (and it is the process I love more than the product) - words won!
3M must be very excited that Oprah recommended the “flag highlighters” – here is a side view of the newest Kimmel book, Iodine. A lot of the highlights are for books or authors she mentioned that I want to research further - I just LOVE how intelligent Trace/Ianthe was, it is that teetering on genius/insanity that intrigues me.
The dynamic of the world of academia vs. the "real" world is another that hit "home" with me - I used to go to college and just immerse myself there - it would be months before people knew I had children (they saw the car seats in the van). I was just so being a student that I wanted those worlds separate. I wanted to focus 100 percent on motherhood at home and 100 percent on learning when at school (I was in college from age 28-38, off and on, finally graduating in 2006, twenty years after high school).
This novel awaits my second reading (I'm still catching my breathe and research on lots of the references so that I can fully take it in). This might be my most "marked" book ever. Need I say more – my loved ones might just have to read the entire novel to me on referenced future deathbed (I’m going to be totally fried if I die in an accident vs. a long, drawn-out illness) . . . I’ll miss so much!
Enjoy (not a slight, but also Endure, Iodine);
It is worth every gasp,
For Art's Sake,
PS Haven, if this isn't your "horror" novel, I have to say I am "afeared"!