So I ended last week absolutely LIVID about my art career and, well, honestly about the other priorities which put it, once again, on the back burner.

(Even several soaks in a bubble bath did not solve this issue). 

Due to some family illnesses and continued viewing of our FOR SALE (for 4 months) home, I missed 2 deadlines for exhibitions I had been INVITED into in Chicago.  I can't even tell you the crushing weight of this - here is another example of how artists-mothers have to make choices that can damage their careers (or, at the very least, stall them).

No, I am not resentful of the other priorities.  These are two separate issues - when they collide it is just like being torn in two or drawn and quartered.  So, to maintain some level of sanity - you just have to let one or the other go.


The moment I decided to release myself from those two deadlines was exquisitely freeing.  I still mourn those opportunities, but I know that I made the right decision for myself, my family members, and my conscience.

I am proud I was able to stand back and, even though I was emotionally involved, I made a correct choice.

One of the processes I use in my life is the 5-5-5 question:

How will this decision effect my life in 5 minutes, 5 months, and 5 years?

The one difference for me is that I have to weigh two issues side-by-side, so in 5 minutes I will be devastated that I missed the deadlines and in 5 minutes I will be on the phone making a Dr's appointment; in 5 months I will have 2 less national exhibitions on my resume and I will have less exposure for my art, thus missing many opportunities AND in 5 months my family members will be healthy and cared for and know that I put them first; in 5 years my career will probably have absorbed the setback of missing these exhibitions and in 5 years these family members will have forgotten my choice (maybe even by 5 months), but overall I hope they absorb the fact that I am there ALWAYS, no matter what - and that is worth more to me than anything.

And here is another bonus, I am actually VERY PROUD of myself.  I feel I have made a choice of integrity and that, in the end, that stance will be returned to me tenfold or one hundredfold from the art universe.

For Art's Sake,